Beliefs are our Jailer

But we didn’t do anything that deserves a prison sentence.

People often ask me what do you do? And the simple answer is I help people bring the beliefs they think are stopping them to the surface of their minds, where they can be seen for what they are and the damage they’re doing to their lives. That they are not as true or real as they think – we are just not conscious of them, so we don’t even think they are coming from us, or see what they are keeping us from.

I saw a video from Tim Han the other day where he painted it so clearly how we hide our authentic self so we can fit in. He said, ‘who do you think is the real self – Clarke Kent, or Superman’? and it seems so obvious doesn’t it. Clarke is who Superman had to event so he could fit in – he had to hide his real self so he himself didn’t have to hide all the time. And why do we do this? Because we expect that change is hard. But it is what makes it seem hard that is the real crime – the real illusion – because there is very little between them and living a completely fulfilled life.

I help people understand how simple and transformative a more conscious life truly is – that its far less effort to focus on than the life you’re living now – but the rewards go beyond the life you think is possible now. Bad habits will start to taste fowl, the things you don’t look forward to now will seem easy to do. Because I put it in the perspective of reward – of the longer-term outcomes people seem unable to picture in survival mode. In survival mode we only ever see change as difficult – we can’t see the long-term outcomes of our behaviours and the actions we take – or realise who else in our life benefits. That’s what makes change harder than it need be. We lose our focus because we can’t string more than a few moments together.

Instead of doing all that hard work I encourage people to get clear not on what they want, but on naming the actual belief that is stopping them. That’s what really needs to be known before any of the actions we take. Actions are far easier to take once we’ve named the belief – once we’ve ‘called it out’. Notice I haven’t used the word ‘change’ the belief – because to ‘change’ the belief always makes it sound harder than it actually does is. So they’re usually unwilling to even look at what’s stopping them with any honesty. They allow the belief to stow away where they can’t be found. The person is like god if he finds that belief I will have to change – so they hide them.

But this isn’t the case all we have to do is get a sense for what the belief might be – even skirt around it for the time being – it will become clearer and clearer the closer we get to understanding that we are not going to disrupt our lives that much at all – that’s not our intention. Our intention is to expose the thing that has caused you to contract – caused you to miss opportunities and poison your happiness for longer than you can remember. We don’t have to pull this belief out by the roots in some long painful initiation. It just has to be named. Because as soon as we see it we see how silly it really is that we would even think that is true. We unconsciously see beliefs as a part of our identity – as a part of who we are – so we think we risk losing a valuable part of ourselves if we bring these beliefs, by name, before the tribunal of our ‘joy’.

We don’t have to tear beliefs out by the roots. We don’t have to put up our argument in this court of law – as to why the belief should go – should be jailed. There is no argument – when we see it for what it is – as what stands between us and a better life for everyone we care about. As the very thing that has effectively jailed us from doing the things we should. It stands up in that court room of our joy – escorts itself from the court and closes the cell door behind it – apologising for any ill feeling it may have caused it.

We don’t have to face fears – we just have to see a bigger picture of our habit way of being the way we are. We just have to care enough about the result. Have to be fed up enough with how things have been for too dam long. No one is lazy, or weak – they just can’t see the prize – the reward. They don’t see themselves as worthy, and so there will be no effort. What we don’t think we can have; we won’t even lift a finger for. But why we can’t have or don’t deserve anything has at its roots a belief someone inflicted on us that is buried so deep we don’t even think it comes from us. Something someone convinced us of for only God knows why. Maybe they were in a bad mood at the time – maybe it was something they were never able to do. The point is our young impressionable mind become hooked on a spell that wasn’t even close to the truth.

It is only a misled and unnoticed belief that stands between us and having anything we want. Bring that belief before the court of your joy today, before it spoils one more day of your precious life. It trapped me in my life for nearly 50 years. The belief that I can’t do – or I’m not allowed, or worthy. Trust me once you’re out you will never reoffend.